sotto voce

Take it from me, one who should know. Being old is obviosly a great gift, considering the alternitive, yet, there are so many annoyances that seem to get greater as the years accumulate. The little things that you could tolerate orf dismiss out of hand make you, the supposed wise one, ashamed to react.

THE ART OF BEING WISE IS KNOWING WHAT TO OVERLOOK.

GRATITUDE IS THE ONLY APPROPRIATE RESPONSE TO EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS.

MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!

BEING 25 YEARS BEHIND ON ONE'S READING AND GETTING FURTHER BEHIND EVERY DAY, TO HAVE SEASON SUBSCRIPTIONS TO THE MET, (A GUILD MEMBER), TO CARNEGIE HALL, TO THE PHILHARMONIC, TO BE A PATRON OF THE SHAW SERIES, TO BE A MEMBER OF THE SHAKESPEARE SOCIETY, TO BE A MEMBER OF THE IRP AND INDULGE IN PEER LEARNING COURSES, TO BELONG TO A GYM, TO CONDUCT A DRAMA WORKSHOP.............TO HAVE FRIENDS, A SWEETHEART.........IS NOT THIS AN EMBARASSMENT OF RICHES?

AH, THE JOYS AND AGONY OF NEW YORK DINING, THE RIDICULOUS MYSTIQUE, THE FOL-DE-ROL OF THE FOODIE BRIGADE. ISN'T IT STRANGE THAT THERE IS HARDLY AN UNALLOYED, PERECT DINING EXPERIENCE? EITHER THE ROOM IS AN ARCHITECT'S TRIUMPH, BUT THE WAITE STAFF IS SNOOTY. THE FOOD IS TOO EXPENSIVE AND THEREFORE DISAPPOINTING, THE FOOD AND ROOM ARE FINE, BUT THE ROOM IS SO RAUCOUSLY NOISY THAT YOU CAN'T CONVERSE AND HAVE TO SHOUT, ADDING TO THE GENERAL CLAMOUR. OR YOU LIKE THE FOOD, BUT YOUR COMPANION DOESN'T.

SOMEONE TOLD ME THAT UNION SQUARE IN NEW YORK CITY WAS SO NAMED BECAUSE THIS SUBWAY STATION WAS THE FIRST INTERCHANGE BETWEEN THE TWO INDEPENDENT UNDERGROUND RAILWAYS. I THOUGHT THE NAME HAD TO DO WITH THE CIVIL WAR, OR TRADE UN IONISM. WELL!
AND THIS UPSURGING NEIGHBORHOOD IS GETTING AS CROWDED AS THE NEXUS OF 34TH ST. AND B'WAY. ONE CAN HARDLY WALK THERE IN COMFORT. NOW THERE IS LITTLE NECESSITY TO GO UPTOWN ANYMORE, UNLESS UPSCALE BUYING IS
THE MOTIVE.

AH, YES. NOW IT BEGINS. THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF MY LIFE. BEYOND THE NIGGLING, PETTY RESPONSIBILITIES, THE PHONE CALLS, THE NECESSARY LITTLE CHORES, HOW TO ADORN THE WEEK WITH GOOD THINGS\, JOYOUS MOMENTS?
ACCORDING TO ACCEPTED PHILOSOPHY ONE IS TO DISPENSE LOVE, SHOW COMPASSION, SPREAD GOOD WILL, DISTRIBUTE LARGESSE. THIS SHOULD BE AN EASY TASK. ARE WE NOT TAUGHT THESE BEHAVIORS AND ATTITUDES BEGINNING
IN OUR EARLIEST DAYS?
HA! WELL, THAT'S THE WAY I AM. THE PARADIGM O CONDUCT. OH, I AM SUCH A JUICY PERFECTION. I CAN HARDLY BEAR TO BASK IN THE SCINTILLATING AURA OF MY SAINTLINESS. YOU WHO KNOW ME. DO YOU BELIEVE IT? HMMMMMM..........

THE SUN WAS BRILLIANT, THE AIR COOL AND BRACING. ONE OF THOSE RARE DAYS THAT SEEM TO SUPPLY THAT EXTRA ENERGY THAT FILLS YOU WITH A JOY, A PASSION.
THERE IS A GUY I LIKE SOOO MUCH! HIS NAME IS JOSEPH ALBANES, R.N., AND HE IS THE NURSE LIASON FOR DR.SHASHA, MY RADIATION ONCOLOGIST. EVERYTIME I SEE HIM, NO MATTER WHAT IT'S ABOUT,(TODAY TO GET A NEW PRESCRIPTION)----JOE MAKES IT EASY, SIMPLE AND PLEASANT. HE IS ONE OF THOSE RARE "PEOPLE
PERSONS" WHO HAPPENS TO BE IN THE PERFECT PLACE FOR HIS TALENTS. AND

THIS AFTERNOON, WHEN THE MEMBERS OF THE ACTING WORKSHOP MET IN THE
CAFETERIA BEFORE CLASS, I RECEIVED THE NEWS THAT RALPH HAD PASSED AWAY ON SATURDAY. HE WAS A REALLY UNUSUAL PERSON, SMALL IN STATURE, BUT OUTSIZE IN HUMOUR, WISDOM, AND COURAGE. HE WAS AN AMAZING NINETY-FIVE YEARS OLD, A JOY IN CLASS, COMICAL AND CHARMINGLY LOVEABLE, ALWAYS A SUCCESS BEFORE THE PUBLIC BECAUSE HE HAD A PRESENCE. HE PROUDLY MEMORIZED HIS PARTS, AND THE AUDIENCE FELT THE JOY HE EXPERIENCED IN PERFORMING.

THIS AFTERNOON, WHEN THE MEMBERS OF THE ACTING WORKSHOP MET IN THE
CAFETERIA BEFORE CLASS, I RECEIVED THE NEWS THAT RALPH HAD PASSED AWAY ON SATURDAY. HE WAS A REALLY UNUSUAL PERSON, SMALL IN STATURE, BUT OUTSIZE IN HUMOUR, WISDOM, AND COURAGE. HE WAS AN AMAZING NINETY-FIVE YEARS OLD, A JOY IN CLASS, COMICAL AND CHARMINGLY LOVEABLE, ALWAYS A SUCCESS BEFORE THE PUBLIC BECAUSE HE HAD A PRESENCE. HE PROUDLY MEMORIZED HIS PARTS, AND THE AUDIENCE FELT THE JOY HE EXPERIENCED IN PERFORMING.

PERHAPS I DON'T WRITE THIS BLOG FOR ANYONE ELSE TO READ, JUST FOR MYSELF. OTHERWISE THERE IS NO JUSTIFICATION FOR THE CATALOGUE OF MY ACTIVITIES. I WANT, FOR SOME STRANGE REASON TO HAVE A RECORD OF ALL THE ODD BALL STUFF I DO. I'M SURE TO BE BORING, BUT HERE GOES THE CATALOGUE:
MY FIRST DRAMA WORKSHOP MEETING WAS ON THE 11TH. THEN ON THE 14TH WAS THE LONG ANTICIPATED DINNER PARTY AT TED GANNON'S APARTMENT IN THE UN PLAZA. ON THE 16TH LILLIAN AND I SAW "HEARTBREAK HOUSE" AT THE ROUNDABOUT AMERICAN AIRLINES THEATRE ON 42N D STREET. STRANGELY ENOUGH I FELT THAT PHIL BOSCO WAS NOT LOUD OR ENERGETIC ENOUGH FOR THE CAPTAIN ROLE. I SAT IN THE 3RD ROW CENTER AND HAD TROUBLE HEARING SOME OF THE DIALOGUE. WELL, THIS WAS THE FIRST PREVIEW AND I'M SURE THE SHOW WILL TIGHTEN UP AND IMPROVE MIGHTILY. THE PEOPLE ARE SO TALENTED.
MONDAY, THE 18TH, WAS THE FIRST DAY BACK AT THE NEW SCHOOL IRP. THE CLASS ON RICHARD WILBUR'S POETRY WAS VERY GOOD.
THEN IN THE EVENING WE SAW "THE APPLECART" BY GB SHAW AT THE PLAYER'S CLUB. I ENJOYED THIS PLAY IMMENSELY. SO MANY LAUGHS. BRIAN MURRAY WAS FABULOUS AS THE KING, AND MARION SELDES WONDERFUL.
WENT TO THE GYM TODAY, AND TOOK IT EASY AFTERWARD.
TOMPRROW IS MY FIRST CLASS ON THE DECLINE OF THE BRITISH EMPIRE AND THEN IN THE EVENING I'M GOING TO THE PHILHARMONIC TO HEAR MAHLER'S FOURTH SYMPHONY. THEN THURSDAY THERE IS THE DEAN'S BREAKFAST TO ATTEND, AND A CLASS IN 20TH CENTURY FRENCH PLAYS AND THURSDAY NIGHT A CHAMBER MUSIC CONCERT AT ALICE TULLY HALL. THAT IS IT FOR NOW, A VERY BARE LIST OF ACTIVITIES WITH LITTLE DESCRIPTION AND ABSOLUTELY NO LITERARY MERIT. JUST A SORT OF REMINDER FOR ME
I SHALL WRITE MORE COLORFULLY AND INTERESTINGLY(I HOPE) SOON.

THIS DAY BEGAN FOR ME WITH TH RECOMENCEMENT OF THE MEN'S LUNCH -BUNCH, AND IT WAS A GOOD MEETING. THE MATTERS DISCUSSED HAD TO DO WITH AGING, DEATH OF FRIENDS AND LOVED ONES AND COPING. SOUNDS A MITE DEPRESSING AND MORBID, EH,WHAT? BUT WE DO SEEM TO NEED TO DEAL WITH SUCH MATTERS, AND THE GENTLE AND SOMETIMES INSULTING JOSHING THAT GOES ON, SOMETIMES AIMED AT OUR GOOD-NATURED CHAIRMAN, FRED CUBA, BREAKS UP THE SERIOUSNESS. THIS IS PERHAPS ONE OF THE BEST ACTIVITIES OF THE IRP. ONE WOULD BE HARD PUT TO FIND SUCH A FINE GROUP OF MEN SUCH AS THE ONES IN THE LUNCH BUNCH.
THE NEXT THING WAS THE FIRST CLASS MEETING OF THE RISE OF THE BRITISH EMPIRE STUDY GROUP AND IT DIDN'T GO SO WELL, BUT I'M HOPING THE CLASS WILL IMPROVE. IF NOT.............I'M OUT OF THERE. I'M MUCH TOO OLD TO WASTE TIME. IF IT AIN'T FUN, I AIN'T DOIN' IT ----NO MORE OF THAT NONSENCE!
"THE NEXT THING" WAS THE CONCERT OF THE NYPHIL AT LINCOLN CENTER. I MUST
AVER THAT LORIN MAAZEL HAS PROBABLY THE BEST, CLEAREST STICK TECHNIQUE I'VE EVER SEEN. IT'S A MARVEL AND A JOY TO SEE. AND HIS INTERPRETATION ARE RIGHT ON THE MONEY. MY SEAT WAS IN THE SECOND TIER IN A SIDE BOX, BUT O.K.
NOT AS GOOD AS MY REGULAR SEASON SEAT, BUT I'VE SAT ALL OVER AVERY FISHER HALL. AND THE PRICE WAS RIGHT. I SAT WITH SHARON, ARNIE, AND DOLORES.
THE PROGRAM WAS THE OVERTURE TO OBERON OF VON WEBER, MOZART ARIAS, SUNG VERY BEAUTIFULLY BY HEIDI GRANT MURPHY, SOPRANO, AND THE GREAT MAHLER FOURTH SYMPHONY..................AND A FINE PERFORMANCE.
"THE NEXT THING"---WHEN I GOT HOME THERE WAS A CALL FROM RUTH EDGE, A SOPRANO TO WHOM I TAUGHT VOICE IN MY NEW JERSEY DAYS. THAT'S `13\14 YEARS AGO. I WILL CALL HER TOMORROW OR THE NEXT DAY.

ONE OF THESE DAYS, I'LL DO SOME GOOD, DESCRIPTIVE WRITING AND SURPRISE MYSELF AND ANY VICTIM WHO READS IT!!!

YES, HOW THE HEART BOUNDS AND SINGS WHEN THE WEATHER IS AS IT WAS ON THURSDAY. FIRST, THE DEAN'S BREAKFAST--A"WELCOME BACK TO SCHOOL THING."
THESE SORTS OF GATHERINGS HAVE A SAMENESS ABOUT THEM:"DID YOU HAVE A NICE SUMMER? DID YOU TRAVEL? YOU'VE LOST WEIGHT!" FAMILIAR FACES. A FEW NEW ONES.
THE FIRST MEETING OF A CLASS I'M ATTENDING, 20TH CENTURY FRENCH PLAYS, LOOKS TO BE FINE. RENEE WEHRMANN, A VERY SMART FRENCH WOMAN WHO WAS IN MY IMPROVISATION CLASS, IS THE COORDINATOR. THE FIRST PLAY IS ANOUIHL'S ANTIGONE, WHICH I HAVE DIRECTED SEVERAL TIMES. THEN THERE IS CAMUS, BECKETT, ETC..
AFTER CLASS I HAD A GOOD LUNCH WITH MY FRIEND,LARRY, AT A MOROCCAN RESTAURANT, OUR TABLE OUTSIDE FROM WHICH VANTAGE POINT WE COULD OGLE THE PRETTY GIRLS AS THEY PASSED, MANY, IT SEEMED, PARTIALLY EN DESHABILLE.
BETTER THAN ANY DESSERT! WE THEN TRAMPED THE WEST VILLAGE A BIT, AND I WAS ABLE TO STOP AT MY "BEST KEPT SECRET,'' FLORENCE BUTCHER SHOP,
WHERE YOU CAN PURCHASE NEWPORT STEAKS, PRIME, FOR LESS THAN YOU MIGHT IMAGINE.
WE FOUND A WEIRD ANTIQUE MUSIC SHOP, SO CROWDED YOU HAD TO WALK SIDEWAYS TO ENTER, WHERE LARRY FOUND A MARTIN GUITAR-SIZED UKELELE
WITH A REPAIRED CRACK IN IT FOR ONLY $800.(HE DIDN'T BUY IT. HIS WIFE, JANE, WOULD HAVE KILLED HIM, HE SAID.
I REALLY TIRED MYSELF OUT ON THAT WALK, SO BEAT IT HOME BECAUSE I HAD TO BE AT ALICE TULLY HALL FOR THE NYCHAMBER MUSIC SOCIETY OPENING NIGHT.
LILLIAN IS NOT A FAN OF STRING QUARTETS OR CHAMBER MUSIC, BUT I KNOW SHE
WOULD HAVE ENJOYED THE VARIETY OF THE ECLECTIC MUSIC AND CHANGING ENSEMBLES....... THE VIVALDI, AND ESPECIALLY, THE DVORAK QUINTETS
WERE JUST BEAUTIFUL.
TODAY I WAS ABLE TO CALL VIVIAN GLICK - IN HOSPITAL FOR SURGERY, AND TO WISH HER WELL. HAPPY TO SAY SEE SEEMS FINE. VIVIAN AND HER HUSBAND, BOB, ARE AN EXTREMELY WITTY AND INTERESTING COUPLE WHO SIT NEXT TO ME AT ROUNDABOUT THEATRE.
I'M A LITTLE STIFF HERE AND THERE(NOT JUST MY STILTED PROSE STYLE) FROM
THE GYM TODAY. HERE I SHALL STOP AND REVIEW THIS ENTRY NOTING THE VACUOUS, VAIN AND VAPID QUALITY OF MY OUTPUT.
HEY, I JUST REALIZED WHAT THIS KIND OF WRITING REMINDS ME OF.............THOSE TERRIBLE MIMEOGRAPHED LETTERS PEOPLE USED TO SEND AT CHRISTMAS.DO THEY STILL DO THAT? I NEVER DID. BUT LOOK............. MIDDLE AMERICA JUST CAUGHT UP WITH ME!

I DO HAVE SOME RELUCTANCE TOWARD SITTING DOWN TO WRITE ON THIS WEB LOG.OH, THERE'S THE USUAL WRITERLY LACK OF DISCIPLINE, LACK OF INSPIRATION, LAZINESS. I SUPPOSE I'M MORE OF A PASSIVE PERSON THAN I USED TO BE IN MY "CREATIVE" DAYS. RATHER THAN WRITE A CATALOG OF ACTIVITIES, WHAT I'D PREFER TO WRITE WOULD BE A RANT, A PASSABLE ESSAY, A DESCRIPTIVE PIECE, EVEN A NOVELETTE, IN THE STYLE, PERHAPS OF KINGSLEY AMIS. NOW I REALIZE, THAT LACKING THE MOTIVATION TO UNDERTAKE THE HARD WORK, I WILL BE WRITING FOR ME, RETURNING TO THE CATALOGUE OF MY ACTIVITIES THAT I SO DECRIED ABOVE.
AFTER SPENDING MUCH OF THE RAINY WEEKEND IN DOORS, MONDAY NIGHT I WENT TO SEE THE LONG AWAITED PERFORMANCE OF THE SHAKESPEARE SOCIETY AT THE DANNY KAYE THEATRE. A MOST SUCCESSFUL AND ENJOYABLE EVENING, TOPPED OFF BY A SUPPER AT SEL ET POIVRE WITH A GROUP OF INTERESTING FOLK INCLUDING MY FRIEND, DEREK, TO WHOM I OWE SINCERE THANKS FOR HIS HAVING INTRODUCED ME TO THE SHAKESPEARE SOCIETY.
YESTERDAY, WAS MY SECOND ACTING WORKSHOP OF THE SEASON AT THE STEIN CENTER, AS USUAL, AN ENJOYABLE EXPERIENCE FOR ME AS WELL AS FOR THE ATTENDEES, MY STUDENTS.
TODAY I'M OFF TO THE BRONX BOTANICAL GARDENS WITH LILLIAN, A BUS TRIP THAT INCLUDES A TOUR AND LUNCHEON, THE TRIP ARRANGED BY THE TURTLE BAY ASSOCIATION.
TOMORROW NIGHT, THE NY PHILHARMONIC....SHOSTAKOVICH. WONDERFUL!

IS IT SANE TO FEEL SO HAPPY THAT YOU FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT? WHAT HAS OUR SOCIETY TAUGHT US? CHILDREN ARE KILLING WITH ASSAULT RIFLES, YET PEOPLE ON THE BUS OR SUBWAY LOOK AT ME WANTING, YEARNING TO CONNECT. JUST A WORD, A TOUCH, A SMILE IS ALL THEY SEEM TO WANT.
SOMETIMES I THINK I AM GOING CRAZY IN A WORLD GONE MAD.
I LOOK DOWN AT THE AUDIENCE IN THE CONCERT HALL, CROWDING IN, HURRYING TO THEIR SEATS, HUNGERING FOR THE SOLACE OR THRILLS OF THE STRINGS, THE BIG SOUNDS. SHOSTAKOVICH , THE CELLO COMCERTO AND THEN SYMPHONY NO.5.
MY LOVELY SEAT-MATE MARY, IS THERE BUT WITHOUT, WILLIAM, HER HANDSOME HUSBAND, RECUPERATING AT HOME. WHAT NICE, REAL PEOPLE!

AND THE CONCERT WAS GOOD.
WHY ARE SECOND MOVEMENTS, ADAGIOS SO DARN BEAUTIFUL? I WAS BACK IN NEW ORLEANS, COLLEGE DAYS, THE MAGNAVOX RECORD PLAYER IN ITS FRUITWOOD CABINET, MY FIRST AND MOST NECESSARY, MOST LOVED POSSESSION. MONEY-POOR BUT MUSIC-WEALTHY. AND THE FIFTH SYMPHONY WAS WHAT WE PLAYED ON IT, AND THE LIEBESTOD FROM TRISTAN AND ISOLDE.
THE MEMORIES, THE PARTIES, THE SPAGHETTI DINNERS, GALLON JUGS OF GALLO! AND THE NEW ORLEANS OPERA COMPANY WHERE I SANG AND LEARNED SO MUCH. IT ALL CAME ALIVE AGAIN IN THAT MUJSIC.
WE ALL DEPARTED THE HALL AFTER THAT INCREDIBLE FINAL ALLEGRO. AND I WONDERED, AS USUAL ABOUT WHAT THE REST OF THE AUDIENCE WAS FEELING, THINKING. THEY SURE APPLAUDED AND CHEERED. BUT I WENT AWAY, QUIETED AND THINKING MY USUAL BANALITIES.
WHAT I WOULD GIVE FOR AN ORIGINAL THOUGHT! BUT I'M AFRAID THEY'VE ALL BEEN TOUGHT ALREADY.